Disappointment

Well, I'm dreading writing this post.  I am still in shock about the entire situation.  My IPs have decided to put the surrogacy off indefinitely.  My coordinator emailed me the news yesterday.  My mouth literally dropped as I read it.  I was not expecting this at all.  We have been matched since April!  All these things keep going through my head.  I guess it just wasn't meant to be.  Best of luck in the future, D & S!!  I'm truly sorry things didn't work out.

So, we will be moving on to try to find another match.  At least I'm more aware of how things work up until this point, but it's still such an utter disappointment.  My coordinator said they have a waiting list of IPs, so matching could be fairly quick.  I'm feeling a bit more guarded now, knowing they could just walk away like that.  Hopefully we can help someone become parents in 2012!!

<sigh>  Moving on...praying 2012 will be a better year all around.

Oh, Skype!

I was so looking forward to yesterday.  It was going to be my first Skype video chat with D&S.  My wonderful laptop was not cooperative.  Skype wouldn't work at all, not even to type.  I even un-installed it and re-installed....nothing.  Ahhh!  I will have to keep trying to figure out what's going on since it's the only computer I have to video chat with. 

I can't believe Christmas is a week away!  Time is going by so quickly right now.  I hope to have "Santa" give L a call sometime in the coming days.  He will absolutely LOVE that!  Off to the doc today to get D's broken arm x-rayed and checked out again.  Hopefully only 2 more weeks of wearing the cast. 

Merry Christmas to you all!  Have a wonderful New Year as well if I don't "chat" with you before then.  :)

Time is actually moving

Well, not much new going on yet.  So sorry for being such a bore!  I will be going for more testing sometime this month.  My coordinator will be letting me know the timing of that fairly soon.  Then we will get the results back from those and then hopefully I will get my calendar noting all the important dates and medication schedules.  I just really can't believe it's December already.  Time during the holidays just flies by, which is a very good thing!  :)  I was worried I would be staring at the calendar as each day dragged on. 

My middle son broke his arm at about 9am the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  That threw a wrench into my hubby's last day of deer hunting...oops!  He is doing well though.  It really hasn't slowed him down, which is a good and a bad thing.  I don't think it really phased him at all, unfortunately, since he still tries to climb and jump off everything he can.  He is ALL boy, that's for sure!  Ugh, I hate to say it, but I feel this is just the first of several broken bones that dear child will have! 

Here's to December flying by, but still enjoying all the wonderful time with family during Christmas and all the gatherings that go along with it.  Ciao!

It's been awhile

So not a whole lot going on right now.  I have chatted with my IF a couple times.  They have been really busy with work and the time difference makes it a little difficult to meet up.  Halloween, my absolute favorite holiday, is behind us.  We had a ninja, Tigger and a zebra in our house.  Trick-or-treating went well.  Brad went with us for the first time...thankfully!  The boys got more candy than anyone needs!  I have tried to limit my consumption as I'm 3 pounds away from my first weight loss goal of 11 pounds.  I know that doesn't seem like a whole lot; but, I love seeing the pounds drop on the scale each time I step on it!  I will have to celebrate WHEN I meet my first goal.  It actually brings a smile to my face when I step onto the scale now!  Never thought I'd say that!

My next goal is 15 pounds, so wish me luck!!  I just want to get down a bit before we start cycling and starting meds after the first of the year.  Many women tend to gain a little weight from the meds, even before getting pregnant.  I hope that doesn't happen, but want to get a little "lighter" beforehand so if it does, I won't freak out!  :)  I'm just soooo ready to get pregnant!  LOL!

Chatting!

I have emailed my IF today for the first time.  He is so wonderful!  His English is pretty good, thankfully!  Finally getting the "go ahead" to speak with my IPs since the contracts are signed is great.  This makes me even more excited than before.  I look forward to getting to know them and them getting to know me and my family.  I'm so happy right now! 

Well...

Well, got some not-so-good news yesterday.  My coordinator called to inform me that D&S would like to wait until after the holidays to begin the process...............   << crickets chirping >>....I know!  I didn't even know what to say.  What could I say?  I mean, it's their baby so I have no choice but to wait.  It's just so hard to wait.  I can't believe they are willing to wait that much more.  I understand traveling from Italy would probably be cheaper and less hectic after the holidays.  So, we are looking at a February transfer date.  Now that really seems like a long time.

Wow

The contract has been officially agreed to by all parties!!  Now, we need to initial all 46 pages of FOUR copies of the contract.  Uh huh, that's right - 184 times!  Man, my initials are going to start looking "wrong" after, like, the 20th one.  :)  Initialling and signing the contract is on the agenda for now.  Then we send the copies back to the agency and move on.  I'm so excited!  I also now have D&S's contact information so we can talk, skype, email, whatever and they have ours.  The 6 hour time difference will be a bit of a challenge, but we will work with it!  I'm so elated to be moving forward finally!  I'm sure D&S are as well. 

Oh, by the way, since I haven't said it in awhile: Thanks for following along!  I really appreciate your comments as well.  Don't be shy.  Comment, ask a question or just tell me how your day is going!  :) 

Then...Yay!

My IF (intended father) has been traveling this week so they haven't had a chance to have a final look at the contract.  They are expected to get back to my coordinator Monday.  Then, THEN all four of us can sign the contract!  Yay!  Then I get to have some medical tests done.  Ugh, yay...  Then hopefully the results are good and we can THEN move forward to aligning my cycle to their egg donor!  Yay!  Then it's needles and wonderful shots in my hiney!  Double yay...lol.  It's coming along.  Yep, sure is.  A bit slowly, but we are managing! 

Spoke too soon!

I just received an email from my attorney on some counter offers to the contract.  He said I can deal directly with my coordinator or wait until he returns!  YAY!  YAY!  YAY!

No word

So there was no word from our attorney regarding the contract.  Now we twiddle our thumbs until October 3rd when he returns from his vacation.  Several people have asked me how the surrogacy is going.  I almost feel dumb telling them we are still doing contracts.  This is something that cannot be taken lightly though.  We will move forward (hopefully!) once everything is agreed upon.  Until then, have a great couple weeks, unless something comes up before then that I just absolutely have to share!  I just want to say I am thoroughly enjoying the fall weather we are having!  Love it!

And it's off

So we made the modifications to the contract yesterday and sent it back to my coordinator.  She will then forward it to D&S.  I'm hoping the changes are ok with them.  If not, they could counter with other terms or just plain say they don't want to work with us.  I'm praying for the first but have to keep in mind that the second could happen as well.  I'm hoping to get the contract part taken care of before the end of next week since my attorney will be leaving the country and not returning until October 3!  Maybe something can actually go quickly for once!  :)

So many ???'s

We had our meeting with the attorney to go over the contract.  Most of it went well.  There is one part, a major part, that has me just not feeling right.  The more I thought about it, the more my stomach just turned into knots.  I have to get back to him on it.  This may be something that could cause D&S to move on to a different surrogate...I'm hoping not...but I have to do what I feel is right for me and my family.

Delays

My attorney who will be going over the contract can't get us in until after Labor Day.  Ugh!!  I just need to keep telling myself that this will take some time and it's for the best so we have all our bases covered.  I'm just so anxious to begin!  My coordinator said we are shooting for a mid-November transfer.  That seems so far away.

Lots of my surro friends are preggers or just had their little ones.  It makes me kinda jealous.  I just can't wait to be pregnant again.  I know, call me crazy!  Other surros totally understand the feeling.  Being pregnant is so amazing to me.  However, I do NOT want to add to my brood at home.  I just want the pregnant part.  LOL!  Call me crazy again!  My moody/hormonal teenage girl and 3 rambunctious young boys are more than plenty for us!  My baby turns 1 in ten days.  Now that really makes me have baby fever!  :)  He's growing up so fast.  I just can't wait for D&S to have their own little one to adore.

Finally!

Contract is in my hands!!!  Need I say more?  :)

Heading my way!

Yay! The contract will be heading my way for review this week.  I'm so excited to start moving forward!!  I just hope this phase goes smoothly.  Not much else, just wanted to share the news that it's coming!

Wait, wait, wait

Just got word D&S want me to have a test done before they will sign off on the contract.  I couldn't get an appointment until NEXT Friday!  Uh, more waiting!  This will happen, I know it will.  I just need to have more patience.  At least I'm distracted with K's baptism this weekend.  Cooking, baking and decorating the cake (which I LOVE to do), cleaning, blah, blah, blah.  It will be a great day with family, so it's all good!

Contract Ho-Hum

My coordinator contacted me.  She said D & S have some questions regarding the contract.  They are coordinating a telephone conference between them, their attorney and my coordinator.  Hopefully things get squared away with that so I can begin looking over the contract.

Happy 4th!

I hope everyone had a wonderful July 4th!  Ours was okay, K has been feverish since Sunday.  I am really, really hoping to hear back from my coordinator this week regarding the contract.  I will post more once I receive it. 

Hoping

I am hoping to hear back from the agency next week regarding the contract.  I just wish I could fast-forward a bit!  :)  I can't, so I'm trying my best to be patient.  I have a feeling things will pick up on here once the contract is signed.  Until I have more to report, buh-bye!

Contract

The contract has been written.  It's in D & S's hands.  Hopefully things go smoothly in regards to that.  So, not a whole lot new going on. 

Prenatals

I received my first bottle of prenatal vitamins from the agency today...wow, that means this is really happening!  Hopefully the contract phase goes smoothly.  We had a family thing this weekend and I was pleasantly suprised that I was approached by almost every aunt/uncle there regarding the surrogacy.  It was the first time I'd seen them in person since I told everyone.  They were all so supportive and made me feel even more excited about this wonderful journey.  Thank you all!!!

Just thinking out loud:  I really hate it when people assume things, especially if you haven't been keeping daily contact with them and they then think the surrogacy must not be progressing.  Then when they find out, they get all upset.  It had been THREE days!!  I am sorry, I truly am.  But instead of coming to you, they tell EVERYONE else BUT you of their concerns, making us both look foolish.  I need to have a chat with them to make sure they understand what is going on.  I'm sure it's just because of the uncertainty and dissapproval they have for the whole experience but it still irks me.  Again, I know not everyone will agree and that's okay.  I'll probably say this a thousand more times throughout this whole experience.  I am happy.  My husband is happy.  D&S are happy.  That is what matters! 

We have a MATCH!!!

Yay!!  I'm so excited to tell you that we are officially matched with D&S!!!!  I almost can't contain myself!  The next step is to get the contract drawn up and looked over by our attorneys.  I'm so happy that this is happening and so happy to be able to help this absolutely wonderful couple!  I don't even know what to say, I'm so tickled!  :)

YAY!

The phone call went really well.  D&S seems like a wonderful couple.  D has quite a sense of humor!  He speaks English pretty well, but S doesn't at all.  His accent is mighty thick, but I can understand him.  I think things went well.  We agreed on the major things and he made me feel quite at ease.  I was so nervous at the start, but ended feeling really good.  I hope, hope, hope they feel the same way.  I just loved hearing them speak in Italian back and forth - such a beautiful language.  So, now they discuss if we could be a match for them and I wait to hear back from the agency....Oh, and I suppose I should tell Brad, I mean, talk to Brad about how I think they would be a good match for US.  :)

Relief

I found out last night that my dad was just pretty shocked when I told him about our venture.  That's such a relief.  I'm glad he is okay with it.  That made me feel much better! 

Now, just to get through the "meeting" phone call that will begin in less than 3 hours....getting more nervous by the minute! 

Call Rescheduled

The phone call has been rescheduled for Wednesday.  Hopefully nothing comes up and we hit it off!  I'm very excited to "meet" them!  I will update after the call.  Wish me luck!!

No call today.

I just received a call from my agency.  They said D & S will not be able to do the phone call today due to an emergency that came up.  I hope everything is okay!!  I guess we will try to reschedule for next week sometime.  Alas, more waiting...

Emails!

I just sent a mass email to my family and friends who were not aware of our journey.  I'm extremely nervous about how people will react.  I just hope that they support us.  If you are reading this now...thank you and I love you!  :)

Disappointment

So I told my dad today.  It was what I expected and why I was worried to tell him.  My step-mom, on the other hand, seemed very supportive.  She even gave me a hug and I don't think she's much of a "huggy" person.  Dad didn't say a whole lot and didn't look at me much.  It made me feel like I was 8 years old and had just done something bad, like I was going to get punished.  I know it's a lot to take in.  Maybe he just needs to process everything...who knows.

I'm not going to let it get to me though.  I know that this is what I want to do.  I have wanted to do this for years now. To all who don't agree with surrogacy, that's okay.  You don't have to.  Everyone is intitled to their own opinion.  I'm not going to try to change your mind. 

I know what it's like to lose 2 babies.  Luckily, I have been able to concieve and carry to term (and then some!) four times.  I wouldn't even know how to feel if I was not able to carry or concieve.  I do know how difficult it was for me when I had both of my losses.  That was a pain so profound, I can't imagine how those who have had 10+ losses even continue trying.  I feel so deeply for those who are unable to have children.  My heart breaks for them.  I want to be able to help a person/couple have the child they have longed for.  It just doesn't seem right that some people can and some can't.  I feel that since I can, why not do this and give the ulitmate gift to someone who desires to be a parent so much?

Phone Call

We have a scheduled phone call on Monday, May 9th.  It took quite a few different emails back and forth to get this arranged as we had to synch 4 different schedules.  I have the list of questions/topics we will be discussing.  I just hope I make a good impression.  D and S seem like a wonderful couple on paper, I'm sure they are "in person" as well.  Wish me luck!!

We have an interested couple!!

Yay!!  I FINALLY heard back from the agency this morning. There is a couple from Italy that liked my profile.  I'm so excited!  Now, Brad and I get to look over their profile to see if we think they may be a good match for us.  They seem like an absolutely wonderful couple.  If we agree that they may be a good match for us, a phone call between us, the couple and my agency can happen as early as next Thursday.  Wow!  I'm hoping things go well.  Crossing my fingers!!  :)

Yay!!

Just a little update:  I got word from the agency that they are going to show my profile to potential IPs on Thursday!  I'm so excited!  I'm also nervous at the same time.  If they like what they see in my profile, then I get to see theirs.  If we both like each other, then we get to move to the next step.  I'm crossing my fingers.  :)

Another Day

So the show "One Born Every Minute" had a surrogate on it a couple weeks ago.  I watched it online last night since I missed it when it aired.  The surro, Susan, was amazing.  The nurse asked her if it was difficult to give up the baby after it's born.  Susan simply shook her head, smiled and said, "It's not mine.  I'm giving it back."  Aww, that is so true. 

People who don't fully understand surrogacy just don't get how someone can "give up a baby".  It's the whole mindset that this baby is not yours, you are simply the incubator that allows it to become viable so the parents can take over.  You are giving the baby back once it's able to survive without your warmth.  You are helping someone have a family that they otherwise wouldn't be able to have.  Needless to say, it was pretty emotional seeing the Intended Parents (IPs) finally get to hold their little boy that they had longed for for 17 years.  I just hope I can find just as wonderful IPs and that our journey allows them become the parents they have longed to be.

It's a GO!

I heard back from the agency regarding our psych evaluation.  Thankfully she said we passed.  By the end of this week, we can begin the matching process.  Yay!!  It's all coming along, slowly, but surely.

As a side note, I'm getting super anxious to tell more people.  Only a few friends, my mom and my two sisters know about this venture.  I know I shouldn't care what people think.  Their views and opinions are not going to change my mind.  This is something I've wanted to do for a few years. 

I'm extremely nervous to tell my dad.  He's a worrier and very sensitive like me (or I should say - I am sensitive like him).  I can just imagine what's going to go through his head once I tell him.  My mom and one sister are fully supportive, as are my friends.  The other sister hasn't said a whole lot about it, but she hasn't tried talking me out of it even though that is what she said she wanted to do.  I will tell more family once we are actually matched and beginning meds and such.  It all just can't come soon enough!

We are sane!

Our results came yesterday.  We are deemed sane!  Yay!  LOL!  Not that I thought it would say different, but it was nerve-wracking waiting for the results.  The doc said he sees absolutely no reason why we shouldn't be wonderful candidates.  The report was very interesting to read.  I've never had a "professional" evaluation done before.

The agency can now show my profile to prospective parents.  More waiting.  It seems that surrogacy is a lot of "hurry up and wait" from what I understand.  I just hope we meet a person/couple that is absolutely wonderful.

Oh, and another plus:  K turned 6 months yesterday.  I am now officially able to proceed with the IVF procedure...which will be awhile from now, I'm sure.

Waiting...

Well, we had to have a psychological evaluation done.  We had to go to Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  That was a week and a half ago.  The doctor said he'd send us a copy of our evaluation.  He said it would take about 3 days.  Every day I'd check the mail...nothing.  Then he calls and said he forgot to have us sign the information release form.  So he faxes it and we fax it back.  Okay, now I hope it comes any day now.  Hopefully the agency gets the copy and we get the go ahead.  I'm excited to get started with the whole process.  Hopefully we can find a wonderful match.  Okay, finishing up watching Tosh.O (luv him!) and heading to bed.  Night all!

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