New Beginnings

It's almost a new year.  How crazy is that?  2014 has flown by.  We were hoping to have a better outcome with our last transfer with G&M.  Unfortunately, things didn't work out as hoped.  They are blessed to have D, I know.  I just wished we could have helped bring a sibling into the world for them.  They are like family to us.  They are hoping to come to WI sometime next year to visit us all.  I'm already looking forward to it!!

We went back to the agency to see if there were any potential matches for us to try to help another couple.  Within a week, the agency sent us several profiles.  There was a couple from the Netherlands that stood out to us.  They are S&G.  They have no children.  They are Dutch-English translators.  I told the agency I wouldn't work with an international couple if they didn't speak fluent English.  This is too important of a thing to have a language barrier.  

We had a Skype meeting on Sunday.  They are just great!  Their accent isn't too thick at all.  We can understand them perfectly!  A couple days later, we learned they like us, too.  We are officially matched!  :)  They will be coming to Chicago at the end of the month so S can go through the egg retrieval process.  They will be staying until the end of January.  Brad and I will hopefully get to meet them in person next month while we go through the medical and psychological evaluation there in Chicago.  If all goes well, our coordinator said we could be looking at a spring transfer.  This is all so exciting.  We are looking forward to moving ahead with S&G.  I will update once we start really moving along!  

Bummed beyond belief

I'll just make this short.  Our beta was negative.  I knew it would be.  I never got a positive home test at all.  I didn't feel pregnant.  I didn't get the sore boobs and nausea I was hoping to get.  Yeah, hoping to get those....only someone who loves being prego would say that.  I'm so sad, upset, mad....I know I did all I could, but I still feel like crap.  I'm mostly heartbroken for G&M.  I wanted this for them so badly.  G&M have no more embryos.  This was their final chance and it didn't work out.  :( Please pray for peace for them.

Smooth Transfer

The hubs and I returned home last night from our transfer in PA.  We left Sunday afternoon.  Flights were on time both directions.  They were even early both legs on the way home.

It was great to see G&M again.  They seemed quite nervous...who could blame them?  The clinic had thawed the 3 embryos on Thursday.  All 3 survived the thaw.  Yay!!  Then it was on to the dividing and growing part.  Two stalled at the cellular stage and wouldn't progress.  The clinic thawed their very last blast that was refrozen from last time.  It was progressing nicely, along with the remaining one that was thawed first.  We had decided at the beginning of this cycle to put 2 back if 2 survived.  That is exactly what we did.

The ambiance was completely different this time.  I find it hard to describe.  Everyone seemed so calm, almost surreal.  I don't know.  We all said we feel good about it this time.  It definitely felt different.  I'm praying one sticks!!  This is their final chance at having a sibling for D.  They say they know they are truly blessed to have D, of course, but would LOVE to have another one.  I'm hoping I can help them with that!  :)

I should know by Sunday or Monday via home tests if one of these little guys stuck.  Please send sticky thoughts, prayers, happy thoughts, whatever you do.  ALL of us would greatly appreciate it.  Please also send prayers for G&M.  I can't imagine all the emotions going on in their hearts right now.  They need comfort to ease the stress of all this, as it can't be easy for them.  Thank you all for your support again!

Good to go!

I went last Friday for labs and ultrasound to check my hormone levels and lining.  The results showed I was about to ovulate....not sure why they thought I wouldn't since I was only on estrogen.  I had to run to the pharmacy after work Friday to get some ganirelix injections.  This medicine puts your body in a holding pattern so you don't ovulate.

I had a checkup for labs and ultrasound yesterday to make sure I didn't ovulate.  I am always so nervous with these things.  You just never know what's going on in your body until you see it on that monitor and get the lab results.  I'm happy to say that all is good and we are still on track for transfer MONDAY!!  Woot!!  I'm so thankful the medicine did what it needed to do.

My hubby gave me my first (of many, hopefully!!) progesterone in oil injection in my butt this morning.  He mumbled, "I don't know why you make me do this to you." after it was all done.  LOL! He usually does a great job and I barely feel the giant 1.5 inch needle going in.  I did feel it this morning though.  Eeek!

We are praying for at least one embryo to survive the thaw.  They are starting the thaw tomorrow, in order to get them to be 5 day blasts for the day of the transfer.  Please pray and send happy, sticky thoughts for the entire process.  Also, please keep G&M in your hearts.  This is likely their last chance at bringing home a sibling for their little D!!  No pressure, right!?

Meds

We have started meds once again.  This time, however, I am NOT taking Lupron!  I am so happy about that!  As long as all goes well with my lining and hormone levels, transfer is set for November 3rd.  It will be here before we know it!  :)  Excited and staying positive!!

Round 2

So, after taking a little time to grieve and hate the world, G&M have decided to give it another go!  I actually start birth control pills tomorrow and have initial labwork done.  I'm so happy they decided to try again.  I pray it all goes well.  This is more than likely their last shot at adding to their family. They say they are so, so blessed with D, of course, but would love to have another little in their home.   Praying for smooth sailing and calm nerves for G&M, as they will probably be on pins and needles even more so than last time.  The roller coaster ride is back!  :)

Negative Beta

Well, it is what I suspected.  The transfer did not take.  I'm so very heartbroken for G&M... I had a bit of a sobfest last night.  I wanted it to work so badly for them.  They have just a few frozen embryos left and may decide to give it one last try.  We will have to wait and see though.  Please send healing thoughts/prayers to them.  They need comfort.  I am okay, just so, so sad for them.  I know there was nothing else I could do to have made it stick.  I just pray they are okay.

Hmmm

Well, our beta is Monday morning, bright and early.  I am feeling a bit down.  I do not think the little embryo took.  I'm not seeing any positives on home tests.  With a 5 day embryo, I should be seeing positives by now.  I'm not feeling like I normally do when I first get pregnant.  I feel like G&M know this, too, as I haven't emailed them yet with "awesome news".  I will let you all know what we find out Monday.  Still praying for a late bloomer...

Moving along

I have been so busy lately trying to catch up from being gone 2 days for transfer last week.  All of our travels went very well.  Flights were on time for the most part.  We even got bumped up to "economy plus" on one leg, which was awesome!  It was great to have like 6 inches of extra leg room!

We got to PA around midnight.  Transfer was the next afternoon.  They ended up thawing 3 embryos.  One didn't make it.  Another was stalled and wouldn't progress.  The last one was moving along quite well.  We decided to put back the last one, which was a 5 day blast that was starting to hatch.  When we transferred 2 years ago, it was only divided once....so this little blast was waaaay beyond Baby D's and had divided more times than we could count.  Transfer went very well, no issues whatsoever.

We chilled in our awesome hotel room afterwards, which happened to be the same hotel as last time.  The hotel provides light dinners Monday through Thursday.  So, we joined G&M and were able to munch on some wings and snacks and chat for a few hours.  We then had pizza again like before.  M seemed to want to repeat all that we did the last time - if one of those things could have been our good luck!  :)  I kinda felt the same way though.  It was all good.  After watching Fast & Furious 4, Brad and I went back to our hotel room.  We ended up watching Dallas Buyers Club.  It was a good movie.  Then we snoozed till morning, had a big breakfast at the hotel and flew out after lunchtime.

We are praying this little guy/gal stuck.  I had labs to check my hormone levels today.  Those came back great.  Family and friends are asking when I find out if it took.  I tell them we have our official blood/beta test on Monday 29th, but I, myself, will know well before then!  ;)  I will be testing at home....obviously!  What surro doesn't test before beta!?  LOL.  I HOPE to tell G&M some awesome news in just a few days!!

Please keep up the sticky thoughts and prayers for the little guy/gal to stick it out for 9 months!  Keep G&M in your thoughts as well.  I can only imagine how they are feeling at this moment.  I will keep you posted!  Thank you all for your support.  It means to world to us!!

Ready or not?

With the ultrasound looking great, I anxiously awaited my bloodwork results.  I got the call from the nurse that afternoon.  She said everything looked great and that we are all scheduled for transfer on 9/17/14!  I screamed a little inside, but simply said, "That's great!".

I am soooo happy to only have 2 more Lupron injections.  This drug is not very fun...at all.  I had nasty headaches last time.  This time, I have bladder spasms.  Yes, you read that right - bladder. spasms.  Apparently around 3% of people get them while taking Lupron.  It just so happens that I am in that measly 3%.  These are so unpleasant and uncomfortable, as you can imagine!!!  It's happening about every 20-30 seconds, literally.  I'm praying the spasms go away after I finish the medicine.

We move on to the big boys on Friday - the PIO injections in my rear.  This is the one that my hubby gives me each morning with the honkin 1.5 inch needle.  He will continue giving them to me until we are through the first trimester.  My upper tush on both sides will be quite tender for awhile.  I think I was sore for about 3 months after the final injection last time.  A midst my complaining, it is ALL totally and completely worth it.  I do what I have to do in order to help these amazing people have another baby.  I feel it's such a teensy price to pay to get the amazing outcome of a new little life.  The looks on their faces when D was born is something I will never forget.  I knew absolutely immediately that I would do it again.  And here we are!!  That's all there is to it.

If I don't write before the big day, please send happy, sticky thoughts and/or prayers for all of us and that little embryo that will be thawing and rapidly growing before we even get to PA.  I'm hoping things go as smoothly as last time.  Thank you all for your support.  It means the world to us!!!  Love you!

Lining Check

I went today to get labs and an ultrasound to check my lining.  I always get nervous at this point, wondering if the meds are actually doing what they are supposed to be doing.  I get up on the table, naked from the waist down, covered up in a sheet and await the doctor.  She comes in and remembers me from when I was there when we were cycling for Baby D.  She starts the ultrasound and says, "Your lining is beautiful, triple striped, just perfect!  You are definitely ready!".  YAY!!  So, if my labs are where they need to be, I think we will be right on track for embryo transfer Wednesday, September 17th!!  That is next week!  EEEK!  I'm so excited!!  :)

Meds have begun!

So, this is getting sooo real now!  I started birth control pills last Friday and Lupron Wednesday.  I have been kind of nauseous from the pill, but nothing I can't handle.  My last pill will be on Sunday.  Then, we wait for a bit to make sure I'm suppressed and not releasing any eggs.  Our tentative transfer date is September 17!!!  :)

Exam Done

Last Friday, my hubby and I flew to PA for my physical exam.  I was so tickled to see all 3 of these wonderful people again.  D is just so darn adorable!  I was afraid he would make shy with us, but he didn't at all.  G & M asked him if my voice sounded familiar.  LOL.  He was so great!  Our kids were kind of bummed about not being able to go visit them.  Some other time, kids, I promise.  Travels went well.  One delay, but we still made our connecting flight...with 6 minutes to spare!  Whew!

The nurse told me to let her know the first day of my next cycle.  Well, I had to call her yesterday already!  I go for baseline labs this week and start birth control pills Friday.  I'm sooo happy to be starting!  Everything is just so exciting.  It was about 2 months from start of meds to transfer last time.  Lets hope all goes well again this time.  :)

Exam Time

Friday, August 1st, we will be flying out to Philly for the physical exam at the clinic.  I'm excited for that, but oh so excited to see G & M and, of course, D!!  Oh, I really can't wait to see him in person...first time in over 16 months, since we all left the hospital. We will be heading back to their place after the appointment. It could be 2 months after that, that we head back there for the embryo transfer.  This is really happening!!  I seriously almost can't contain myself.  My hubby just smiles at me.  :)

Contract is Done!

Whoot!  The title says it all!  The contract is all signed and completed.  I didn't think it would take very long at all.  Next step will be heading to PA to get all checked out by the clinic.  Last time it was all done in one day:  flight there, exam, flight back.  That was a really long day!

Hopefully we will get to spend some more time with G&M and be able to see Baby D!  I guess he's not exactly a baby any longer though, huh?  He's almost 16 months old!  We have been blessed to have received many, many pictures since he was born.  G&M are so wonderful, like family to us.  I can't wait to see them all again!

I have IT!!

I am so excited to announce that I have the contract in my hands!  I can't wait to begin this process of bringing another child into the world for G&M.  One surro friend gave birth last night.  A few more are just beginning.  Another is almost done with the first trimester.  All these ladies have been making me jealous!  :)

Timing isn't set yet.  We will have to go through the contract, which is basically the same as the first, so it should be quite fast.  This is the second time I've been so darned excited to start giving myself shots in my tummy and having Brad give me the honking ones in my butt!!  Squeeee!  Here we go!

Happy Dance!

It's been forever since I've written.  Baby D turned 1 last month.  He's so adorable with such chubby cheeks!!  He has been walking since he was 8 months old.  Little overachiever!  HA!  G&M keep in touch almost weekly with pictures, cards, emails and texts.  They are such wonderful people.  I just can't say it enough.

G sent me an email today.  She mentioned the year long wait between transfers because, if you remember, I got a new tattoo in June last year.  It takes a couple months to get started (contract & meds), so she then said we could start...like...now!  AHHH!  I'm so tickled, I almost can't concentrate here at work.  She already has a call into their attorney to ask how to get things rolling.  This seriously made my day, week, month!  So. Freakin. Excited!!!

Here's to giving Baby D a sibling in 2015!!  :)