Back to normal

I've been back to work just over a week now.  It's all good, same old, same old.  My co-workers seemed happy to have me back.  I'm getting back into the normal swing of things at work and at home.  Laundry has resumed to being backed up by several basket fulls.  LOL!  I really should do at least one load a night to get caught up...we'll see.  I want to TRY to start working out soon, as I still have 26 pounds to lose to get to my pre-prego weight.  I would like to lose more than that though.  I will just have to steer clear of the local ice cream shop that opened up again for the spring/summer.  It's not easy when I have 4 kiddos - and a husband that has stronger ice cream cravings than I do!  Well, a little here or there will be okay, right?!  Ha!

I received a pretty card in the mail yesterday from G&M.  They included some updated pics of Baby D!  He has already changed so much.  He's so stinkin cute!  It was wonderful seeing the pictures.  They gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to know he's growing and so, so loved by his parents.  :) 

There was a little note on the card that simply stated, "If you ever think of going on this roller coaster again, please keep us in mind!"  Oh. My. Gosh!! I may or may not have jumped up and down and screamed a lil bit!!  I was hoping they would like to do a sibling journey sometime in the future.  Now that they have opened the door to that idea, I got so darn excited.  My hubby just gave me a big ole smile.  He knows I would absolutely love to do another journey, especially if it was with G&M.  I know the future could change and things happen, but I hope sometime we are in the midst of giant shots in my butt and waiting on the double lines on the prego tests.  Some think I'm crazy to just utter the word "pregnant" just a month after delivering a baby.  I get excited just thinking about the possibility!  Yes, call me crazy, insane, weird, whatever you want.  Eh, maybe I am!  ;)

3 weeks post-partum

Three weeks has gone by so quickly.  Baby D is gaining weight well and is as adorable as ever!  G sent some new pictures a day or so ago.  I'm sad to be going back to work tomorrow.  I'm definitely healed well enough to go, just don't want to.  And for anyone with concerns of me going back so soon, my doctor is okay with me going back before the normal 6 weeks.  I just sit at my cushy desk job anyway.  :)  I'm emotionally/mentally stable and healing well.  I honestly don't feel like I had a baby 3 weeks ago.  I feel really great. 

I swear my outlook on life is slightly different after going through this journey.  I can't really explain it, though it's for the better.  Seeing G&M's absolute raw emotion during the birth of Baby D was the most amazing thing I've witnessed in my life.  It is something I will carry in my heart forever.  Some people have asked if we will do another surrogacy.  Depending on how things work out with my daughter and her feelings about the journey, I (along with my hubby who is in total agreement) would definitely do this again....in a heartbeat, especially if it was for G&M again.  There.  I said it.  ;)

1 wk post-partum

It's been one week since Baby D entered the world.  G&M sent a pic of him a couple days ago.  They really are such wonderful people.  I just can't say it enough.  Baby D is extremely loved by them and all their friends and family who were awaiting his arrival as well. 

I'm feeling really good, physically and emotionally.  My milk came in full force last Thursday.  Oy!  That's a pain I always tend to forget about.  They are finally starting to ease up today, thankfully!  I've lost about 15 of the 46 pounds I gained so far.  Hopefully the weight won't decide to stay for the long haul!!  I will be working to get rid of the weight as soon as my doc allows me to.  I will have my checkup in 2 weeks, so I can return to work by 4/16. 

The first day home was an emotional one for me, even for Brad.  I couldn't even talk about the delivery without crying.  It was such a miraculous moment, that tears just came every time I thought about it.  I can talk about it now just fine.  I never had that maternal feeling with Baby D.  I never had that longing to have him here at home with me.  He felt like he was a close friend's baby that I was meeting and I was completely okay with handing him back to his parents.  I surely don't miss having to be sleep deprived with middle of the night feedings and hearing a newborn crying.  :)  Since I don't have a newborn to take care of during my 3 weeks off work, I feel like I'm healing faster.  I am getting enough sleep and not worried about a new baby and all that comes with him.  I'm not getting that anxious feeling before bedtime like I had gotten with my own kids.  I love my sleep, as I believe know I've mentioned before, so much and any disturbance to it, gave me anxiety for some reason. 

When people ask me how I'm doing, I have a feeling they don't fully believe me when I say I am good, great even!  I just hate how it seems some people expect me to be a complete mess.  I'm truly the opposite.  I feel so gosh darn happy that I was able to grow a healthy baby and help create a family!  Surrogacy isn't for everyone.  There isn't a more true statement out there.  I believe I was made for this.  God gave me the ability to carry and birth children relatively easily, which I LOVE!  I, in turn, was able to help someone else.  Amazing!  Sibling journey or Round 2 in the future??  Who knows...only time will tell!!  ;)  I want to thank every one of you who supported us throughout the last 2+ years since our surrogacy journey first began.   XOXO